It is often the case that parents that spend a lot of money on their child’s education put less responsibility on the child to make it all work. There’s an internal argument that goes like this: Because I’m spending a lot, I deserve better educational outcomes for my child.
But more expensive doesn’t mean better—especially in education. In fact, taking into regard what I said in a previous post, less intervention from teachers might be better if the student can learn to apply buttocks to seat and work.
I saw two tendencies from parents who paid exorbitant amounts for their children’s education:
1) Entitlement
Parents that pay more, are often more entitled. This entitlement makes them less likely to take a systematic approach to the child’s education. They want a quick fix. But when it comes to thinking clearly, there are no quick fixes. Consistency and deep focus over months and years—that’s the key.
Entitlement also breeds emotional drama and constant complaints. And emotional drama stops any real progress in its tracks. This is true for every avenue of life. (Also why I write about emotional work extensively.)
2) Higher test standards without better understanding from students
Private schools have higher standards, yes, but that does not mean that the students understand things on a deeper level. I encountered many private school students who lacked understanding of the basics. (What does it mean to optimise, if you can’t draw a parabola?)
When you make things more complex without testing the basics, you’re essentially trying to build a high tower on a shaky foundation. With mathematics and physics, the basics are very important.
Money vs Emotional Backbone
Exorbitant educational fees doesn’t incentivise teachers to hold back students that aren’t up to standard. It might do the opposite. When parents pay hefty school fees, they don’t want to hear that the kids aren’t performing in school. The unspoken accusation is: Well, I’m paying you a lot, so …fix it.
But the truth is that it’s mostly up to the student. The teacher has a role—but it’s not as important as a consistent deep work habit.
When educators don’t have the emotional backbone to fail students that are not up to standard, they put the responsibility on the next educator to play catch up. But here’s the crux: it cripples the student. Any student that is not up to standard will find it harder to keep up. This reinforces a sort of powerlessness when it comes to their own education. Overwhelm stands in contrast to deep focus and agency. Additionally, it’s better to let young people fail early in life to instil a sense of agency, focus, and conscientiousness. The alternative is that they come to the conclusion that everything is up to luck, or worse, the whims of a teacher. This is bad.
Nothing good ever came from entitlement. And there are certain things that money can’t buy. The skill of thinking clearly, the skill of being able to focus—that is something that needs to be cultivated, not bought. Money can be a great resource—but not when it is used as a sort of insulation device to prevent emotional growth and real learning.