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Kitchen Nightmares

Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares is an entertaining show—but also kind of uncomfortable to watch. From an emotional awareness perspective certain ingredients are always present in these episodes.

It is nearly always the case that a restaurant owner (or chef) will say that he would love to have input from someone like Gordon Ramsay. That is, until he actually gets it. Before Gordon arrives, people are excited about his visit. This excitement only lasts until Gordon tastes the food.

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That Little Voice

Never ignore the little voice in your head. I’m not talking about that incessant monkey mind that worries about everything. And I’m not talking about the big bombastic voice that’s always critical. I’m talking about that subtle, intuitive voice that occasionally warns us that something is just not right.

That voice isn’t fear-based and it doesn’t shout instructions. It’s often a soft nudge that makes you notice something strange. Or it’s a feeling that asks, What feels wrong here? Or it can be a voice of clarity that says, You know, you really shouldn’t sign that contract. Whatever the case, we’ve all ignored that little voice at times.

But if we can learn to be attuned to that voice, if we can learn to stop and pay attention when it speaks, we might be able to navigate difficulties better. In some cases, we might even be able to prevent catastrophes.

Here are a few key reasons why we sometimes fail to listen:

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Emotional Work: Jealousy

Of all emotions, jealousy is one that can be the most destructive.

When this emotion gets out of hand one might become wholly destabilised and utterly destructive. Feelings of inadequacy is often at the root of jealousy. And this feeling can be quite unbearable. Sometimes, complete destruction (or self-sabotage) is favoured over turning inward to face the jealousy.

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What is emotional integration? (Extended Version)

In very simple terms, emotional integration is when the internal charge of an uncomfortable emotion dissolves.

The tricky thing is this: We are often unaware of stuffed down emotions. We might not be aware of every single thing that we felt during a traumatic event. Some things stay buried for very long.

On one level, we know that we’ve integrated a trauma when we no longer feel charged emotion when we think about the associated event. But that is not to say that there isn’t still some stuff beneath the surface of our awareness.

I’ve often been baffled by how many layers of emotion a traumatic event can contain. When the charge of a specific situation doesn’t dissolve quickly or instantly, we might need to re-investigate what’s going on inside.

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Finish Lines


Finish lines are idealised destinations that cannot grant us the happiness that we so desperately crave. An idealised destination is only a happy place in our head. Perfect external circumstances can never lead to inner peace. Inner peace must be cultivated from the inside out.

Emotional Work: Resisting Difficult Feelings

There are many reasons why we resist difficult feelings. One reason comes from an inner sense that we do not want someone to have power over us. The person can be someone close, or it can be someone who has disappointed us in the past. Whatever the case, there’s usually an inner dialogue that sounds like this: I refuse to feel sad about what that person said. I will not allow them to have power over me.”

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A Writer’s Guide To Self-Publishing

Over the years I’ve been bombarded with countless ideas concerning writing and publishing—often from people who don’t even read. Publishing is an area where many people feel that they have a great amount of knowledge, expertise, and magic formulas. I take all of it with a grain of salt. The best course of action is determined by inner knowing—not outer noise.

I wanted to write this article for anyone who is interested in writing, publishing or self-publishing. That said, take all publishing advice with a grain of salt. This rule absolutely applies to me too.

In this article, I will discuss my own thinking around publishing, what I found useful, and what I consider a healthy mindset concerning writing and finishing books. You might agree with some of it. You might disagree. You might find that some ideas are useful and others don’t align with your goals. It’s perfectly reasonable that not everything in this article will apply to youbut if you are thinking of self-publishing a book, you might very well find a few useful nuggets in this article.

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