Never ignore the little voice in your head. I’m not talking about that incessant monkey mind that worries about everything. And I’m not talking about the big bombastic voice that’s always critical. I’m talking about that subtle, intuitive voice that occasionally warns us that something is just not right.
That voice isn’t fear-based and it doesn’t shout instructions. It’s often a soft nudge that makes you notice something strange. Or it’s a feeling that asks, What feels wrong here? Or it can be a voice of clarity that says, You know, you really shouldn’t sign that contract. Whatever the case, we’ve all ignored that little voice at times.
But if we can learn to be attuned to that voice, if we can learn to stop and pay attention when it speaks, we might be able to navigate difficulties better. In some cases, we might even be able to prevent catastrophes.
Here are a few key reasons why we sometimes fail to listen:
1) Distraction
Years ago my phone and wallet got stolen while I was working on a particularly hard coding problem in the university computer labs. The thieves were strategic about it. One person came to sit on my left, coughing horribly. This irritated and distracted me.
Another person came to sit on my right, where my bag was placed. The consequence of the guy on my left coughing like a sickly eighty-year-old, was that I hardly noticed the guy on my right swiping my phone and wallet. Because I was also debugging code, I only noticed that my phone was gone five minutes after both thieves had left.
I ran out of the lab in desperation, but by that time they were long gone. In those moments, after the coughing thief came to sit next to me, there was a sense that something wasn’t right. But I was just too distracted. Or rather, too focused on something else. Whatever the case, I didn’t pay attention to the nuance of the situation.
If I’d just taken the time to pause and look around for a second or two, I might have saved myself a lot of trouble. But the moment was also instructive because it taught me to not be indifferent about little warnings like that.
2) “See the best in people”
Many of us are taught from a young age to, “see the best in people.” This is a widespread cultural idea that many people live by.
But this idea only has value if we don’t override our intuitive senses about someone. For example, it doesn’t serve us to be overly critical about random strangers. But if, say, the mechanic that fixed your car proves to be dishonest, don’t explain away the behaviour. Face the dishonesty head-on. Or get another mechanic. Or both.
Forcing ourselves to see the best in everyone is detrimental if we apply it to all circumstances and people. And it can also serve as a convenient excuse to avoid a difficult choice or conversation. Your spouse might ask, Don’t you think Jon drinks too much? You might reply, Well, he’s a wonderful tax consultant. This doesn’t address the underlying concern.
We must bring awareness to these tendencies. Seeing the best in people must not blind us to faults and difficulties. And it certainly mustn’t silence the intuitive voice that warns us.
3) Advice from a trusted source
We may sometimes choose to override our intuition when someone we trust gives us information contrary to our intuitive voice. We might decide to trust someone simply because our spouse trusts them. Or we might decide to set our discernment aside because someone is in a position of authority.
The trusted source might not be operating from deceit. But their advice can still be wrong. This is because they are operating from a place of limited information. Our intuition has a slightly wider perspective.
I have on occasion trusted certain medical interventions more than my own inner knowing. This has brought about horrible health consequences. When it comes to trusted advice it’s especially important that we filter it through our own inner knowing. This goes for legal advice, financial advice, medical advice—all of it.
We need to learn to honour our own inner knowing.
4) Intuition isn’t exact
Intuition isn’t an exact science. It is based in subtle feelings, subtle knowings.
It is very subtle. And in a noisy world such a delicate signal can be drowned out.
That said, we can train ourselves to be more receptive. Mindfulness and meditation can help. Emotional work helps because it helps us to distinguish truth from frantic emotions.
Learning to distinguish intuition from fear is an important first step. These two are not the same. Fear encourages rash actions. An intuitive nudge is a softer call to action. It does require us to act. Sometimes swiftly. Sometimes slowly. Sometimes by asking questions. Sometimes by paying closer attention.
If we can start by noticing more, paying attention, testing information, we might very well find that our intuition will aid us. We might even use dreamwork to assist us.
Pause
It can be challenging to pause and reflect when we’re in the midst of something that we deem important. On that day when my phone got stolen, I wasn’t mindlessly zoning out—I was just focused on something else that required attention.
But when that subtle sense kicks in, we might need to come up for air. Pause. Take a look around. It might save us a lot of trouble later on.