Of all emotions, jealousy is one that can be the most destructive.
When this emotion gets out of hand one might become wholly destabilised and utterly destructive. Feelings of inadequacy is often at the root of jealousy. And this feeling can be quite unbearable. Sometimes, complete destruction (or self-sabotage) is favoured over turning inward to face the jealousy.
Jealousy Ravages Health and Well-being
The most jealous person I ever met was also the most self-destructive. Jealous politicians won’t shy away from total destruction of the commons to either get ahead or cover up feelings of inadequacy. The emotion must be avoided at all cost no matter the consequences to themselves or the public. Also, deep relationship troubles stem from jealousy.
There’s a case to be made that jealousy is rooted in fear. But I don’t view jealousy as an offshoot of fear because it feels different in my body. In the past, I’ve been baffled at destructive jealous actions. But that is not to say that I’m above this emotion. I’ve had my own dark night of the soul with jealousy.
Back when I was dealing with deep jealousy, I was constantly looping through narratives about how unfair life was. I wasn’t taking care of my health. I wasn’t present with important work and daily responsibilities. And I was struggling with many bad habits. I’d go so far as to say that this was one of the darkest times of my life.
If we allow such a destructive pattern to continue for years, it will ravage health and well-being. The best thing is to integrate jealousy as quickly as possible.
Jealousy Is A Projection Of Something That Isn’t Real
The only way to dissolve the almost unbearable charge of jealousy is to turn inward. Bring as much awareness to the emotion as possible. This takes an enormous amount of effort (and courage) because the natural tendency when we experience jealousy is to project outward. In fact, I would go so far as to say that jealousy is a complete outward projection of something that isn’t real.
Jealousy is an idealised projection of what we think another person has or is experiencing. We might feel jealous of someone else’s life, career, or relationship, but we aren’t inside that person to see that they have their own challenges. For all we know they might be going through unbearable difficulties. All of this is beneath the surface and not necessarily apparent on social media or fleeting interactions.
But when we integrate highly charged and destructive emotions, we suddenly see things clearly. Integrating jealousy makes it possible to realise that we don’t want to live someone else’s life. We might even realise that meticulous presence in our own life is what brings true happiness.
If you find yourself perpetually jealous, do whatever it takes to turn inward and integrate this destructive emotion.