Inner Work 4 | From Inner To Outer

From an inner work perspective it’s always best to move from the inner to the outer. This means that we must tend to our own emotions, relationships, addictive patterns, and dark tendencies before we try to fix a bunch of things in the world. This is of course not how things are done by cancel culture commentators on the internet, but let’s not get distracted by them.

If we want to cultivate true inner power, we must focus on building a solid foundation of good habits and presence. A good foundation of presence should inform everything we do in the world. Inner change must come before outer change.

Why Inner Change First?

Let’s suppose a lemon tree is struggling. It’s not yielding any lemons and the leaves are mouldy. There’s something wrong but it’s not obvious what. We have some choices in how we deal with the situation. Most people will understand that plucking off the leaves is a bad choice. Additionally, if I suggested that we increase the lemon yield by attaching lemons to the branches with adhesive tape you would think me absurd.

And yet, this is how we deal with all sorts of difficult personal and societal problems. Instead of looking at the true cause, we seek a quick fix. Quick fixes to deep problems are like sticking lemons on a tree with zero regard for the condition of the plant. The true solution is to focus on the health of the plant so that it might naturally produce lemons. You can artificially increase the yield by sticking lemons on branches, yes, but there is no true change. No True Change.

I can give countless examples of things that function this way in modern society—but this will take me too far off track. The point is this: The solution might not be more money, more contacts, more resources, or more stuff. The solution might be an inner change that recognises our own capabilities. It might be the willingness to work with the resources that we have instead of blaming. The solution might be to recognise and confront fear once in a while. It might be dealing with anger. Whatever the case, our aim is this: True Change. Not surface-level shenanigans.

Dry vs Sober

In Alcoholics Anonymous, members make a distinction between “dry” and “sober.” Being dry is when you’re not drinking, but still craving alcohol. You’re abstaining but you haven’t resolved the inner wounding that is at the root of the problem. There’s no True Change.

Conversely, sobriety refers to when you have dissolved the inner need to drink. You have worked through the resentments, shame, fears, and feelings of self-hatred. You have reached a point where you experience inner peace. That’s True Change.

I love this distinction. And I’ve experienced this in my life. A huge emotional release will leave one with a sense of inner peace. A sense of okay-ness with the world. One can attempt to soothe an inner restlessness with “one last cigarette”, sugary foods, or a glass of wine, but it only works for a short while. It doesn’t resolve the discomfort. One last cigarette doesn’t allow True Change. But facing the emotion does. Integrating the emotional garbage is the way to True Change.

From Inner To Outer

This distinction between dry and sober gives us an idea of why inner work must come first. It’s better to work on the inner level before we move to the outer. If we don’t, we might end up doing a lot of things that are not aligned with our soul.

We might end up doing things to soothe pain on the inside while not actually addressing the root. An example would be working hard for a promotion. You think you want that promotion—but what you really want is for the feelings of inadequacy to go away. The truth is that the promotion can never give you a sense of adequacy. But working on the level of emotion—integrating the inadequacy—can (and does) dissolve the charge of inadequacy.

True Change

True Change is something that one can perceive, not only with the eyes, but with felt-sense too. When someone has cultivated inner peace, other people can feel and perceive that peace too. Unfortunately, this is also quite rare to encounter these days.

Many years ago, I knew a young man who completely changed his life after a severe car accident. His entire perspective and way of being changed after the accident. Not only did he radiate gratitude for life, he also quit all self-destructive behaviours. I asked him about this. He told me that the changes were all intentional. He was no longer prepared to indulge in certain behaviours. He didn’t say this, but I understood that he wasn’t trying to please anyone with these choices. He wasn’t attempting to fit into some societal mould. He had made an inner decision that he was going to live a clean life. That’s True Change.

We can see similar types of changes in people who’ve had near-death experiences (NDEs). Unfortunately, our societal structures make it easy to fall back into bad patterns. If we do not have an iron will to stick to our own standards, a change might only last for a few months.

These sudden and total changes often happen when people experience something extraordinary or supernatural. Many of us might never have an extreme spiritual experience. I did have a few dreams that totally changed the trajectory of my life. That said, for me inner change has been gradual. But it’s also real. It’s dependable.

Final Thoughts

We always have things to do in the outer world. I’m not discouraging that. What I am advocating for (as always) is self-awareness in these matters. Are we moving from wounded anger when we act? Or are we moving from peace? Are we working hard to avoid emotions? Or are we working with our emotions?