It is very difficult to do inner work if we do not cultivate healthy inner honesty. Inner honesty requires us to be aware when we are lying to ourselves. This is the sort of thing that is needed when we want to follow through on our meditation practice, or exercise program, or healthy diet. Inner honesty requires us to course correct when something is clearly not working.
Inner honesty, or Truth, is probably the single most important thing when it comes to inner work. If we do not have a sense of when we’re lying to ourselves, we will not be able to have the fortitude to meet difficult circumstances, emotions, or people. That is just a fact.
In many ways, we live in a society where it has become the norm to play ostrich and stick your head in the sand. There is something adaptive about that too. We cannot attend to everything all at once. And we might become wholly destabilised if we drag every dark thing into the light at once. In some sense, it’s better to wake up slowly.
But we must at least be able to recognise when we are lying to ourselves. We must take responsibility for bad tendencies. We mustn’t always seek the easiest path. Inner work isn’t convenient.
If we do not build on Truth, we will keep on making excuses about why we cannot do certain things or why other things are too hard. This is related to inner discernment but it goes slightly deeper. I don’t think it is a coincidence that the first step of AA is essentially a step in facing Truth. Truth really is the first step to spiritual maturity.
Here are some things that counter Truth:
Narratives of victimhood
Discussion about who has more opportunity, money, connections etc, destroys accountability. Blame destroys accountability. Personal responsibility is the way out of this spiral towards complete zombification and powerlessness. The antidote to victimhood is to see everything as an opportunity. This is not fun, nor is it easy. But it is the way out of this death spiral.
Take an example: Let’s say that you have trouble reading. You’re dyslexic. You can either avoid facing the difficulty. Or you can apply buttocks to seat and work. You might decide to investigate what others did to overcome this. You might watch videos, or you might consult books. I’ve read quite a few books where people discuss overcoming such challenges. Here’s one.
Defensiveness
When we are in Truth we rarely feel the need to justify. We rarely feel the need to defend ourselves. There might be some exceptions to this but it is good practice to bring awareness to this tendency. Ask yourself, why do I need to justify this behaviour, or viewpoint, or way of being? Is it because I fear the criticism of others? Or is it because deep down something is bothering me?
There’s a difference between defensiveness and merely arguing a point. Defensiveness tends to be rooted in wounding. Defensiveness stems from fear. A good example would be when someone makes exaggerated statements. Bring awareness to this tendency.
Gossip
Gossip counters Truth. This might seem like a strange thing to say. But I’ve seen it countless times. People who spend an inordinate amount of time talking about other people do not focus on their own efforts and what they want to accomplish. None of us are perfect and we all have our judgements at times. That said, we should gossip as little as possible.
Conventional Wisdom And Lazy Assessments
Conventional wisdom can also counter Truth. In fact, lazy assessments and ideas can sometimes be in direct opposition to Truth. From what I’ve seen this is especially the case for many things that relate to education, psychology, and biology. Certain other fields such as mathematics and engineering lend themselves less to muddled thinking. That said, I’ve often been astounded at the level of mindlessness in the medical sector.
The point is this: We should cultivate a healthy sense of scepticism when it comes to conventional wisdom. We should not simply repeat everything we hear. It’s much better to dig a little deeper. It’s much better to read. Read books. Consult people who have accomplished that which others say cannot be done.
Years ago, doctors told my mother that she would never walk again. This was after her botched back operation. But I had one question which drove me to dig for information: To what extent can the nervous system heal? I read books and forums. I talked to physiotherapists and people working in orthopaedics. It took a year, but I physio-ed my mother out of a wheelchair. No jokes. This is not because I’m so cool. It’s because I was willing to ask questions. The body’s healing capacity is underestimated by doctors, and frankly, many people. I wasn’t willing to accept a lazy assessment of what is possible.
The reason I tell this story is to inspire people to read more. Read with focus. If you don’t understand a page, a paragraph, a sentence, re-read it until it makes total sense. Don’t give up at the first hurdle. In school we are taught to finish books quickly so that we might answer a few test questions here and there. Speed is a trap. And reading to appease a teacher is a waste of time. Read to grow as a human.
Final thoughts
Truth should be the foundation of inner work. That is not to say that we must become aware of all our destructive tendencies all at once. But we should at least have a sincere willingness to change.