There’s a reason I spend so much time writing about being in the present moment. I believe that being mindful and in the moment can transform our experience of life.
In my twenties, I used to chase certain achievements because I thought that it would counterbalance some of the suffering that I was experiencing. I thought that if I could only achieve a few key things, I would feel better.
But I’ve realised that there are very few external conditions that can bring us inner joy. Yes, certain things might lift our spirits for a while, but if we want to have a more sustained experience of joyfulness, equanimity and focus, then we need to be with our internal suffering for long periods of time.
This is not really what people want to hear because who wants to be with their sadness, anger and disappointment for long periods of time. What we tend to do instead—or what I did for the most part—was work really hard towards something that I thought would soothe that inner turmoil. In other words, I thought that some future event or achievement would be my salvation.
It never played out that way.
Future achievements cannot set us free from the pain that we experience in the moment. And it cannot set us free from the disappointment in the past. We just have to be with the discomfort. We have to be with the pain open-heartedly for long periods of time. (Here’s a related post)
This is challenging, no doubt. The suffering can build like a pressurised balloon. Sometimes the only way to experience relief from that pressure, is by crying. (Here’s a related post.) Strangely enough, even after years of mindfulness work and reading up on trauma, I still have judgements about crying. But from what I’ve experienced, there’s nothing that gives more relief when you feel truly defeated, depressed and in the dark. Future achievements cannot set us free from the disappointments of the past—but crying does release us from the burdens to some degree.