There is a difference between emotional containment and suppression. If we want to process through our emotions, we need to be aware of this distinction. This post discusses the difference between containment and suppression.
Emotional containment
Emotional containment is when we sit with a difficult emotion for a while, hold it on the inside, and feel what is there. We’re feeling the charge—and it’s probably uncomfortable. This discomfort can range from mildly unpleasant to nauseatingly unbearable, depending on what we’re processing through.
We want to allow the feeling to move through us. There is a rise and fall when we just allow.
Suppression
So, if holding the emotion on the inside and feeling it is containment, then what is suppression?
Suppression is when we move the feeling out of our awareness. When we purposefully distract ourselves with something like smoking, scrolling, or eating. Suppression is when we push the feeling away. By contrast, containment is holding the feeling unconditionally. Holding it very much like you would hold a tiny bird. Allowing it to move.
How to know if you are suppressing or containing an emotion?
So, how do you know when you’re suppressing or containing an emotion?
It is important to realise that containment doesn’t feel good. We’re feeling things we don’t want to feel. Anger that is radiating to our arms. Anxiety that is making our heart race. Fear that is making us pace up and down.
Suppression, on the other hand, makes us feel better for a while because we don’t have to face what’s there. Suppression is the act of trying to feel better. This, of course, is short-lived but it does remove the inner charge for a while.
When we’re choosing to contain an emotion, we’re choosing to feel uncomfortable for a while. We are choosing to feel what is there, allowing it to be there, holding it gently and lovingly.
Why this matters
True emotional well-being isn’t just about feeling good. It’s about integrating the charged stuff that is beneath the surface. This requires an understanding of emotional containment, an understanding of how to contain and hold difficult emotions.