Category: Awareness

Why it’s Easier to do Hard Things in Computer Games Than Real Life

I can write two books in Sims 4 in a single day—a Sim day, not a human day. I can probably finish a library of books in a human day as a Sim. And I can just keep on writing and writing. Sure you have to empty your Sim’s bladder now and then, eat, shower and sleep. But mostly, as a Sim, I can just keep on writing. No thought given to physical aches and pains, doubts, or creative capacity. Never mind the time it actually takes to finish a book. Hint: Not one day. Socialising as a Sim? Only once or twice a week if you take the loner trait. Writers are loners after all. Sure, you get some writer’s block now and then. This lasts a few Sim hours, but you can just fast forward past it. Like Adam Sandler in Click.

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A Case Against Cynicism

Some things get better. Other things get worse. But to hold on to an idea that everything is getting worse is just not accurate. Also, to be absolutely certain that things can’t get better is not only foolhardy but also destructive. Why? You might ask. After all, if we are cynical about things, we can’t really be disappointed. We can’t get criticised for being too idealistic. We can’t be accused of wishful thinking, and we don’t have to disagree with the hordes of naysayers who so aggressively want to convince us that they are right. It means we can stay safe.

But I’ve thought a lot about this. A few years actually. And I’ve come to the conclusion that cynicism is not only bad for your emotional health but actually destructive to many aspects of your life. Here are a few reasons why.

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Maximising Time Spent in Flow State

Life’s getting increasingly complex. I have many days where I feel fearful about the future. In South Africa, many things are exceptionally unstable. Many things that happen are out of our control too. But there are certain things that are not out of our control. These are the things that I come back to again and again. These are things that centre me. Things that strengthen my sense of agency. Things that help me access more flow in my life.

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The Best Way to do Math (Or Anything Else That Seems Hard)

I was fortunate to have quite a few good teachers back in high school. One awesome teacher was my math teacher. (How often do you hear that?) She once told us that one should aim to do an hour of math everyday rather than study long hours before a test. She said that one should aim to be so familiar with the work by the time that the test comes around, that one should take it easy the day before.

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Work is Love Made Visible – Kahlil Gibran

About thirteen years ago, someone told me that he can’t believe that he gets paid to do the work that he does. He stated that he enjoys his work so much, that he would gladly do it for free. That conversation kind of planted a seed in me. My idea of work up to that point was mostly that it was a harsh slog of difficulties. But the conversation told me that maybe it doesn’t have to be that way. I thought about it a lot and kept encountering the idea in different ways and on other occasions.

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Why emotional awareness matters more than intelligence

As a society we kind of have this obsession with intelligence. We admire people that are smart and even go so far as to build things that are smarter than us. Chess software engines like Stockfish that can basically waste any grandmaster.

We put intelligence on a pedestal and believe that it will solve all our problems. But a lot of our problems are not due to a lack of intelligence. A lot of our problems stem from charged emotions like jealousy, shame, fear, and anger. These unwanted emotional states often drive us to do unwise things.

I would argue that it is not that we need more intelligence but that really we need more emotional awareness and ultimately emotional integration.

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The burden of meaning

Meaning is often seen as a good thing. We want the work that we do to be meaningful. We want our relationships to be meaningful. We attach a lot of value to meaning because we believe that a big, important “why” will counterbalance the inevitable difficulties of the “how.” This idea has merit, but attaching too much meaning to something can also be burdensome. Meaning can bring a certain amount of expectation and heaviness.

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Resentment

It’s hard not to get consumed by resentment for living a life on Earth. The things that we all face regularly, like betrayal, loss, disappointment, or just sheer physical discomfort makes it hard not be resentful on some level.

But instead of complaining, or acting rash, bring awareness to that resentment. Shine some light on it and see if it brings some relief.

My top 4 meditation tips

“Many of us are afraid of going home to ourselves because we don’t know how to handle the suffering inside us”

Thich Nhat Hanh – Silence

1. Just start and feel good about it

Set the bar really low so that you can’t fail. For example, if you’re a beginner, start with five minutes today and feel good about it. Feel good about showing up no matter what. If your mind was all over the place and you hardly focused at all, that’s still a successful meditation session because you’ve observed something about yourself.

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Pausing is a superpower

Pausing before reacting is a superpower.

I think most people will agree that it’s easy to stay centred and calm when you’re not triggered or emotionally activated. But staying centred while you’re experiencing intense emotions, especially fear or anger, is hard. It’s not just a little harder to stay centred. It’s much, much harder. But pausing amidst these extreme emotions can be extremely beneficial.

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