Henriette – Page 9 – Henriette Nolte

The Lens Through Which To View Emotional Work

Posted on November 30, 2023February 15, 2024 by Henriette

It’s always tempting to have a final destination mentality around things. This is the mental framework that says, “When I’m done with school I will be done with all my learning.” Or, “When I finally get that promotion, things will be better.” Or, “When I retire, my life will begin.”

Strangely enough, we don’t view physical fitness through this ‘final destination’ lens. We never say to ourselves, “I will exercise for two hours every day for the next month and then never exercise again.” Or, “After I’ve finished my first marathon, I’ve made it.” Anyone can recognise that this is silly. We don’t think that we can accomplish all of our fitness goals in one month and then be done with it for the rest of our life. Most of us, when it comes to fitness, know that we will have to exercise for the rest of our life to maintain and build our physical capacity.

Why do we not recognise that this is also true for cognitive acuity and emotional health?

Internal integrity

Posted on November 27, 2023July 30, 2024 by Henriette

The one thing that I work on continuously is internal integrity. In simple terms, internal integrity is the ability stay on track no matter what is happening around us. It is our ability to stick to our own rules. These rules might pertain to health, work, relationships, career or whatever, but it is usually intentions that are important to us personally. These rules can be habits (exercise daily) or it can be a way of being (an intention to be mindful). Whatever the case, it is the small but important things that we do daily, weekly, monthly to lead a meaningful, good life. Internal integrity prevents us from constantly making excuses.

How To Deal With Criticism | For creatives

Posted on November 22, 2023November 22, 2023 by Henriette

It feels good when we are praised for the work that we do, but I think that most people will admit that this is the exception not the rule. More often than not, someone will strongly dislike the work that we do or the art that we create.

If we don’t experience blatant criticism, subdued negativity takes the form of endless disapproving questions. I always try to answer those with grace but I can’t lie, it does irk me. But I’ve spent years on the path less travelled and I’ve learnt that other people’s opinions (mostly) don’t matter. What matters when it comes to the art that we create is:

1) That we are proud of our own work, and

2) That we listen to the right feedback.

Don’t let your conditioned voice override your inner voice

Posted on November 17, 2023October 21, 2024 by Henriette

In my previous post, I wrote about trauma voice—the voice that stems from the wounded child. Trauma voice makes us become the worst version of ourselves. But trauma voice is not the only voice that can colour our inner world. There is another voice, one that I call conditioned voice.

Don’t let your trauma voice override your inner voice

Posted on October 12, 2023February 15, 2024 by Henriette 1 Comment

Meditation teaches us to observe the various narratives running through our minds on a moment to moment basis. For me, when I observe these narratives, I realise that most of them do not serve me. They’re rarely peaceful and calm. My own streams of thought mostly centre around defensiveness, a sense of impatience, or worry. These are nagging and tend to stifle focus and creativity but they are not hugely destructive. On the other hand, every once in a while an exceptionally destructive narrative comes along. These narratives are different. Not only are they more dangerous to my well-being, they are often also routed in trauma.

Five things that writing has taught me

Posted on October 11, 2023February 15, 2024 by Henriette

Writing is a teacher. This post lists a few things that I’ve learnt from writing.

The Difference Between Suffering and Discomfort

Posted on September 13, 2023September 20, 2024 by Henriette

There is a difference between suffering and discomfort. Discomfort is just pain in the moment. But suffering is when that pain is weighed down by mental stories, destructive patterns, painful emotional baggage, blame and shame.

Destructive Patterns

Posted on September 12, 2023June 13, 2024 by Henriette 2 Comments

Our thinking when it comes to destructive patterns is often: I’ll deal with this later.

This is a bad approach because destructive patterns are rarely things that can be contained in neat little boxes. These patterns, whether its something dark and consuming, or something small and less concerning, has the irritating tendency to bleed into other areas of our lives.

Maybe we don’t need more discipline. Maybe we need emotional growth

Posted on July 20, 2023January 29, 2024 by Henriette

There is this idea these days that we just have to power through all our discomforts to get to a space where we feel okay with ourselves. We need to do more, be more, become more. We need to smash all of our weaknesses and achieve as much as possible. We have to follow a strict diet and an even stricter exercise regime.

But maybe we don’t need that.

The Mental Tendency to Solve

Posted on July 18, 2023February 15, 2024 by Henriette

I’ve written a few posts on rushing because I know that when I bring repeated awareness to the tendency of rushing, it diminishes the frantic energy around the feeling.

But feeling rushed isn’t the only thing that I’m repeatedly confronted with. During my meditation sessions, I often also become aware that I have a strong tendency to want to solve certain things in my head. This mental looping of problems and solutions, just like rushing, takes me out of the present moment.

Author: Henriette