Where are you trying to get to?

It seems like all of us, collectively and individually, are trying to get somewhere. But I don’t know if we know where or what the destination is.

The other day I saw a person overtake four or five cars because the car at the front of the line was driving very slowly. This was on a Sunday and I remember thinking, Where are you trying to get to? Truthfully, that wasn’t the only thing that went through my mind. I was the one in the oncoming lane, and so, I was also momentarily taken in by my own anger. Who knows how much time that person eventually saved by rushing, but it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes. Does it make up for the carelessness though?

I don’t like the carelessness of rushing. I don’t like the mentality of trying to get as much done in as little time as possible. I don’t like the idea of doing something to just get it done. Here’s a related post.

Instead I have this approach: If something is worth doing it’s worth doing with care. For me, this even applies to mundane things like doing laundry. Why? Because it simply feels better to be present for the task rather than rushing or wishing it to be over.

I’ve written a few posts on rushing because I’ve found that when I bring repeated awareness to it, that feeling of chasing after something, or in most cases, being chased by a subtle sense of inadequacy, diminishes. When I feel rushed, I’ve found that it’s helpful to ask myself: Is this where I want to go? Do I really need to prove myself here? Or do I really need approval there? Is this even important? Asking these questions helps me to distinguish between what my ego wants and what will bring me long-term happiness.

Another thing to ask: Will the destination make me feel better? This is a tricky one because some people will tell me that they did feel better after reaching a certain destination. Their degree validated something for them, or being married suddenly changed how they feel about life. I too, felt good after Chasing the Sun was published this year. But this week I’ve started writing something new. Not because I think that it will get me something in the future—but because I like the process. And that’s a reason not to rush.